Just out of curiosity (I’ve noticed that quite a few of my conversations begin like this…) what is a “leaving dress” and where does one buy one? I mean, obviously it’s a dress, but why can’t one have leaving jeans? Or a leaving hat? Shoes? ┬áIs there a specific reason or is it an abstract form of tradition founded in sexism? What color is a leaving dress? What length? Is there even an actual literal leaving dress or is it figuratively speaking? Music just ain’t what it used to be.

“Sir, you need to be less sexist in your choice of song lyrics and make less references to having sex with hot girls who don’t wear enough clothing.”

This is a picture of a confused dog to give you an idea of the expression I would probably receive should I repeat the previous quote to Luke Bryan, Jason Aldean, or any of the other yayhoos that think they write good music. (Lookin at you, secular rappers whose names I doth not know.)

In retrospect (what a cool word…) that was probably the world’s longest caption. If it’s not, a sizable contribution to yours truly will likely soothe my injured feelings.

Moral of the story: Suddenly, POTATOES.

And also, don’t get a leaving dress.